I taught Emily Chaurohas everything she knows.
Okay, fine, I had her in my Improv comedy class at Summer Institute for the Gifted and she was easily one of the funniest. She also was an established child actress by that point. I largely just watched her own the stage and pretended I had anything to teach her.
Since then, she has quit the industry and found her way back to it, walked through Hell with aplomb, and been hugged by more than one porn star. She is one of the cooler people you could hope to meet, and you would be wise to help her achieve her dreams.
You act, sing, write plays, direct. How do you professionally identify these days?
I have identified as a writer for most of my adult life, kind of by default. At the end of the day it's always what I seem to come back to. Everything else feels like a hobby, or some kind of funny memory.
You were a child star under the name Emily Christine, appearing in Desperate Housewives, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Weeds. Then, you gave it up when you were fifteen. Was there a moment that you knew that you just didn't want to do that any longer?
I think the most distinct moment when I realized that I really didn't want to act anymore was when I was on the set of Weeds which ended up being my last gig. I was sitting on set, waiting, like you do when you're shooting anything, and I just realized that I wasn't having fun anymore. I was bored. I was burnt out. It didn't feel like I was getting any fulfillment out of it anymore and I kind of had this conversation with myself like, "Am I doing this because I love it, or because it's just what I do now? Is that a good enough reason to continue dedicating my life to this?"
Are you still glad that you were a child actress?
I'm very glad I was a child actress. It's given me nothing but material.
Who has been your favorite actor to work with?
My favorite actor I ever worked with was Matt Winston. He and I were in a short film together and he's one of the kindest, funniest people I've ever met. I think I was nine or ten when I shot that short, and at the end of it I literally sobbed the entire car ride home because I was so sad for it to be over. If you don't know him by name, look him up, he's one of those ridiculously multitalented people who has been in everything.
Without naming names (unless you want to), who has been the most obnoxious celebrity you have met or worked with?
I'm gonna answer both. The most obnoxious celebrity I worked with was Teri Hatcher. She and I never shared any scenes in Desperate Housewives but I was introduced to basically all of the primary cast and every single person besides her was incredibly friendly and warm, and she was just rude and very dismissive. It wasn't earth shattering or anything but I've been very lucky in terms of the quality of people I've worked with and she stands starkly outside of those nice experiences.
The most obnoxious celebrity I've ever met? I won't name this person's name because I now know that they were going through some real shit at the time, but there was a young female celebrity who verbally assaulted me at an Urban Outfitters in approximately 2012 because I was looking at a painting she planned to buy.
Ash vs. Evil Dead: Aunt Linda's Bake Off was fun to watch. Given how you were in full Deadite makeup, was it fun to shoot?
It was fun to shoot, but it was more fun to be covered in fake blood for the rest of the day. Honestly, though, I'll take absolutely any opportunity to play a dead or scary thing.
How did you end up singing a song on a Simpsons album?
Before I started acting, I was a session singer for film and TV (because my mom had a longtime family friend who hired singers for these choirs) and the first job I ever had, period, was singing four lines of song in an episode of The Simpsons called "The President Wore Pearls" as part of a school kid choir. I believe there's a medley of the songs from that episode on the "Testify" album.
You played a demon in VooDoo. What was that shoot like? Did you meet Ron Jeremy? If so, what was that like? I skimmed to the part of the movie where I am pretty sure you were and did not watch the rest. Jeremy seems to have a tiny part with disproportionate billing, not that I blame them.
So I've never seen the movie and I had absolutely no idea, first, that I was still in it, and second, that Ron Jeremy was in it at all, so these are new bits of information for me. I 100% thought I hit the cutting room floor. That shoot was hands down the worst on-set experience of my life. Absolutely not a single duck was in a row. I was in it as a favor to a friend who was working on the movie (who was fully not at fault for the complete shit show it all quickly became). What was supposed to be one or two nights turned into I think five, all well over 12 hours, in full demon makeup and these absolutely awful contact lenses. There was no caution taken for the welfare of any of the actors whatsoever and the entire thing was embarrassingly Mickey Mouse. I did, however, make some good friends, and I got to hold a very large snake, and those were highlights of that experience.
I HAVE met Ron Jeremy on another occasion, however. There used to be a bar near where I live that hosted Porn Star Karaoke (which is exactly what it sounds like) and he was there pretty often. I met him one night, listened to him sing the National Anthem, and allowed him to give me a very tight hug. Probably tighter than I was really down with. He was sweet, though.
Did you know that a quote you said, "Jesus, girl, you might keep the man, but you're gonna lose the finger," was used for an engagement ring shaming Facebook group? How weird is that?
I did know that. I consider it one of my proudest secrets. I've been quoted!
The play you wrote, starred in, and directed, Artificial Flowers, was called "fascinating and disturbing" by Night-Tinted Glasses. Is that the best praise you've received for your work?
The best praise I've received for my work was when someone told me that it made them rethink themselves as a person. I think that's the peak for me.Also, just for the world to know, I didn't really direct it. I was told by the producer to direct it because it was "my show," but I'm not a director and never have been, so an insanely talented guy named Brandon Slezak stepped in and saved me from completely humiliating myself.
What project of yours (or dream project) would you most like to see?
I would most like to see the movie version of Artificial Flowers, which we shot at the end of 2018 and I've been waiting on to be finished since. I know things take as long as they take to cook properly so I'm patient, but I am really, really anxious to see it and I think about it almost every day. I have some snips and clips of it, and I watch them so often I've probably ruined those parts for myself.
Is there any role that you would love to have done?
Claire Fisher in Six Feet Under. If I could magically rearrange history, I would very selfishly make myself the person who played Claire Fisher before I would prevent any wars or anything.
What was it like to intern at Cannes Film Festival?
Interning at the Cannes Film Festival was both very rewarding and very exhausting. Cannes is the most beautiful place I've ever been, and it was a very cool experience to have had. It was also pretty isolating and prohibitively expensive, especially because I had to pay for my travel and lodging myself, and I only found out I got the job three weeks before the festival. YOU try getting a plane ticket and a hotel room in Cannes three weeks before the festival. I miss Cannes, though. Every single night that I didn't have something to do after leaving to office I ate prosciutto and chocolate and nectarines for dinner in my room in a very dank little bed and breakfast, and every morning the same taxi driver took me to work. His name was Christian, and he had once won the green card lottery to come to the US. He lived for one year in Boulder, CO before deciding that he hated it here and moving back to France.
Are you working on a piece or project right now that excites you?
I started writing a very Hallmark-y Christmas movie last July when I was at the height of pandemic-related mental illness. It's extremely corny but I'm excited to finish it. I go in fits and starts with it, but it's been a really good distraction in moments when I've needed one.
How have the last few years influenced your art?
I think I always write what I need at any given time. Everything I write is personal one way or another, I've never been very good at writing things that don't have pieces of my own life in them, and the last few years have definitely been formative for me in a lot of ways. I think, probably, the last few years have made me get more honest with myself through my writing.
What is the hardest part of what you do that people might not realize?
Everything I've ever done has turned me into a walking imposter syndrome factory. I've had a fair degree of easy success in a lot of different ventures which I literally have never felt like I deserved. If you want a complex, peak when you're ten and spend your entire adulthood trying to figure out how to get something back which was totally illusory and intangible to begin with. That makes me sound extremely pretentious. THE HARDEST PART IS TRYING NOT TO SOUND PRETENTIOUS TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY.
What's your favorite movie?
My favorite movie is Man on the Moon.
What advice would you give to someone hoping to do what you do?
Your level of productivity doesn't determine whether or not you're a writer. You're a writer if you write, and that's the end of it. If you get caught up in how long it's taken you to finish something, or how long it's been since your last idea, I think it becomes easy to lose the part of yourself that can write with some honesty. That's the advice I give myself, anyway.Find Emily on the web and tell her how cool she is:
