A not insubstantial portion of my writing accouterments were gifts, things I would not have bought for myself and which I am, therefore, too guilty not to incorporate into my regular writing practice. Otherwise, aren't I being ungrateful?
Outside this, I have bought myself things that might, if one squints one's eyes, look like the necessities of the craft but are impractically pretty and, though functional, may be meant to be admired and not used often.
I use them constantly in hopes that their impractical prettiness will rub off on me and result in my being admired. (I would prefer not to be used often, if possible.)
These programs and implements are subject to change through the years. I have written similar articles to this one with only a few overlapping items. Ask me again in ten years, and I am sure I will tell you of my neural implants. (I shall not.)
Grammarly
Regarding practicality, one can hardly do better than Grammarly. I have been using it since I discovered it, probably from an article like this. When finishing up my fourth novel, Flies to Wanton Boys, I sprung for the Premium and have never looked back. The free version is likely all most people would need to perk up their emails. If one writes professionally, Premium will catch errors and make suggestions that will markedly improve the content, whether pointing out the weakness of prose or streamlining nonfiction.
Given the diversity of my writing, I am pleased that Grammarly is nonjudgmental. Other programs and apps flag offensive language, which is sometimes necessary. Grammarly suggested "Unsplit the infinitive" when I wrote "to absolutely cave his f-ing head in with a rock" but had no other objection. And, if I disagreed, it would not push.
(It does point out potentially dicey language, such as making sure my use of "queer" in my lesson plan about schools of literary criticism was reappropriating the slur. But it still doesn't judge or suggest I don't know what I'm doing.)
Grammarly gets me enough to justify the over $100 a year it costs.
Tablet
Mine is a Galaxy, but I was given it so long ago (three years!) that it no longer seems to be sold new.
It works. Given their ubiquity, not much needs to be said about tablets. They are easier to throw into my bag than my laptop would be. It allows me to do a split screen, so I can type on one side while my research is on the other.
Don't be cheap when buying a tablet, or you will have to purchase another one next year, but getting one that will last is not expensive.
Remarkable 2
The Remarkable 2 is my most recent acquisition, a combination birthday and Christmas gift from my parents. It does one thing: act like paper. You can write on the e-ink screen with almost no latency. It has a papery feel, and my two pens weigh the right amount. You could mistake the included one for a marker and the aftermarket one for a slightly lighter Bic.
It is no-frills. Do you want to scroll your socials? Comment on Reddit? Read at night? Too bad. It does none of those things. There is no browser, and it lacks a backlight. You write on this device. That is all. However, if you are a writer, you want to avoid another device that will distract you.
I used the Remarkable 2 as a notepad for a while, but my penmanship has never been acceptable. If I wrote bigger cursive letters, the optical recognition basically knew what I was saying. Printing was easier and could be smaller, but it is still imperfect.
Turning handwriting into text takes time, often around a minute, and can only occur with wifi, so it is unclear where it is being sent. I suspect no one at Remarkable headquarters is scoping out my novelettes. Still, it would be more satisfying if the device could do this without an internet connection.
Once you have your writing, you can upload it to a cloud service. Remarkable has its own, but it is limited if you are not paying for a subscription. I have yet to find a reason to pay for the service.
Where the Remarkable 2 shines for me is marking up PDFs. When I have a manuscript I need to review, I wirelessly transmit it to the device, scribble over it with highlighters, pencils, markers, and a variety of pens, and then upload it to Dropbox or Google Docs. Previously, I did most of my editing on my Kindle.
It is the size of a standard folder and only a little heavier. I would have liked one closer in size to my Kindle so I could surreptitiously write on it when I am out. The Remarkable 2 is not meant for this, perhaps assuming that a smaller device could not provide the experience users would want. Well, I'm a user, and I want it. I would be pleased if Remarkable could provide different sizes, but this one has grown on me.
What makes this arguably useful device only for the fanatic or specialist? The cost. The most basic version can set you back $450, and you likely want the $550 bundle that gives you a cover and quality pen. You can get a decent new tablet or an excellent one secondhand for that price.
Of course, one can also write on paper with an ordinary pen. One can even download an optical character recognition app to translate one's writing to text. So, really, you must *need* something like this for it to be a reasonable purchase, and few people need it.
Kindle
I have a Kindle Paperwhite, but any e-reader would likely do the trick. The Paperwhite works for me because I can export my highlights. I can load my research material there, read and annotate, and come away with a summary of the points I might need.
I have edited my books on it, highlighting and annotating with an "R" (revise), "Syn" (synonym), or "D" (delete). I have tried to take more detailed notes or suggest revisions, but it is a slower process, and the Remarkable 2 has become a more efficient way of doing it that requires less searching when I am making revisions.
The Paperwhite is also waterproof, so it can be used in the bath. I have never been in a situation where I desperately needed to read something while in the tub, but... Oh... oh, I see.
No, I do not need this feature.
Random notebooks
I would love to tell you I write on pristine vellum and save these notebooks for my eventual biographers. I do not. Instead, I have four notebooks going at all times. These are not pretty or special. I bought a four-pack for a couple of dollars from the perpetual yard sale in my town. I burned through the composition books my students barely scribbled in before leaving my class.
In one of my bags, I have two small notebooks that were swag at education conferences. Why two in the same bag? I have no idea, but they've been there for months, and I would hate to separate them now.
When I fill a notebook, I am always a little confused about what to do with it. Once, I gave my mother a satchel of them, hoping some future person would care. I shove some of them in my bookcase where they do not fit. I occasionally give up and throw one in with the recycling, figuring I have transcribed the notes anyway. Nothing goes into one of those that doesn't end up typed and ideally published.
Typewriter
I had big plans to type my patrons postcards, thinking that would be more authentic than printing something. I never ended up doing this, and no one complained.
It sits near my exercise equipment, taunting me. It may be older than I am. It is not a pretty thing. Tom Hanks is not aching to collect it.
It is an object I could use, but I have yet to be brave or motivated enough to try.
Fake Phone
It is a perfectly functional cell phone, though enough years out of date that the resale value would be someone laughing at me. My brother gave me a hand-me-down from when his kids upgraded, but it could not be activated on my network.
In essence, I have a tablet the size of a phone. This is the opposite of a problem, as it still connects to the internet and Bluetooth keyboards.
Why not use my actual phone with my infinite data plan rather than relying on wifi? ...Shut up, that's why.
(This way, I do not drain my actual phone's battery when I am typing for an hour.)
Collapsible Wireless Keyboard
The iClever Wireless Keyboard is the only one that has lasted. I've tried and ruined five others within a few months of buying them, but this one has been going strong for three years. It has a backlight, though I hardly use it, so the battery life remains robust. Given its aluminum body, it is light and durable, though I would want to test that sparingly. I paired it with my fake phone, essentially creating a tiny Android laptop about the size and weight of a paperback.
It is more expensive than other keyboards, but it is more cost-efficient, given that I haven't needed a replacement since 2021.
Markdown Text Editor App
I need a markdown text editor that connects to a cloud service to complete my mini-laptop. That wouldn't be difficult, yet it seems to be a struggle for app makers. My preferred app, iA Writer, connects to three cloud services: OneDrive, Google Drive, and Dropbox. I can effortlessly type using the above keyboard and phone, and it backs up to where I can access it on my laptop, tablet, and phone--the latter two also have the app.
It only allows you to write text files, but that is all you need to get your words out.
It is unclear if the app is still free. It is on the Play Store, but people complain otherwise. It was free when I installed it, which is why I did it.
One problem I have encountered is writing when you don't realize you no longer have an internet connection. When you save your file, no, you didn't. That file has been lost to the ether. It will never return. It exists nowhere. Goodbye, file. So, if you are using it, be 100% sure your internet is working before exiting the app.
Until 2019, I had been an evangelist for Jotterpad. I even gave them money even though I did not want or need the additional features, just because I found their app helpful. However, they turned their backs on their users, pretending that access to cloud services wasn't something they had offered for free, hoping to get users to pay for Pro Cloud rather than develop new features. The users were not thrilled by this, especially as they refused to acknowledge the money people had already paid them. Although that app was helpful years ago, I recommend avoiding it now.
There are likely other apps now that do this. I tried a few after Jotterpad's betrayal, but only iA Writer did what I needed, so I stopped looking. I am not averse to trying another, and this one is not flawless (especially when I am cursing it for not saving my last hour of work), but it is good enough.
Laptop
Mine was custom-built built but is not exciting. I did not need an exciting computer. I am not gaming on it or designing art. I'm a writer. Does it have Word? Good enough.
It only comes into my writing practice at the end of the process. I otherwise find it too distracting, as it is the Designated Internet Machine. I run documents through Grammarly Premium, code them for one of my sites, or post them. (I can use Grammarly on my other devices--aside from the Remarkable 2, for obvious reasons--but I find it ungainly.)
I cannot get any serious writing done on my laptop. Having a Designated Internet Machine is helpful to my practice because I know I must be working if it is closed. Though I can access the internet through my Fake Phone and Galaxy Tablet, I have conditioned myself not to when there is Work to Be Done.
Fountain Pens
Listen. Do I know that I don't need fountain pens? Am I aware that this technology has been rendered all but obsolete by the rollerball and then gel ink? Of course I am. No one needs fountain pens.
Except me. I need the fanciest ones I can get.
I have two made by an artisan. Both are inscribed with my initials and contain precious stones and meteor fragments. They glow in the dark. Neither cost under $100 and now retail for more than $250.
I have ones made of carbon fiber and ones with brass barrels that make my hands smell like pennies. My most recent acquisition is a vacuumed-filled one, showing me the ink satisfyingly sloshes as I write. I have an antique pen made of leather and Swarovski crystals. Do you want a pen? I have a few black aluminum ones that are taking up space in my fountain pen box, made by another artist.
I have opinions on nibs are best (I like a fine or extra fine), barrel type (get your plastic away from me), and preferred methods of filling (needle-fill are for drug addicts and bladders are for incontinents). I know and covet Neil Gaiman's favorite types (Pilot Custom 823--$340--and Lamy 2000--$180). I have tried to rehab antique fountain pens but found the experience stressful.
Why do I do it? Fountain pens contain less ink than the plastic rollerball in your shirt pocket. Filling them can be messy and wasteful until you get the hang of it.
It's beautiful and elegant. Even though my penmanship is that of a chicken needing carpal tunnel surgery, despite spilling ink on a notebook that would otherwise be filled with middle school science, I better honor my craft by using an instrument of value. It is like a contract with myself. If you use one of these pens, you will write something worthy of it.
I do not, per se, need twenty of them, but what can you do? One has to collect something; at least I can dump all of them in a small bag in case of fire.
Azio Retro Classic Bluetooth Keyboard
On a list of things no one needs, the Azio Retro Classic Bluetooth Keyboard should be near the top. It is another gift I would not have bought myself. It is a beast of a keyboard with glowing keys, brass edging, and a leather backing. It is not the sort of device that ever leaves one's house. If I saw someone writing on this at a cafe, I would assume they were an escaped steampunk lunatic.
Yet it clicks well, feeling more like a typewriter than a keyboard. It is a luxury item that deserves to be on an antique wooden desk. I store it in a niche in my bookcase, next to the nook of cryptid pillows where I do most of my serious writing.
Leather notebook covers
The Hide & Drink, Zippered Journal Cover for Moleskine Notebook (XXL) contains a standard notebook with a little room to spare. Is there a Moleskin manufactured that would fit in there? I wouldn't know. I don't use Moleskins.
It makes my marble notebooks look less low-rent, as though I might be penning deep thoughts about the nature of existence rather than notes on a meeting of Bigfoot researchers, as had been the case the last time it was outside my home.
I can justify the Refillable Leather Pocket Notebook - Mini Composition Cover. If I did not have a cover on my mini-composition notebooks, they would be pulp in a matter of days. If I am wearing pants, I have my mini-notebook in them, usually for the size of notes that would befit its diminutive size--but generally for lists of things I might otherwise forget. If I plan to go to dinner, I will have already written my potential orders in my book. Any biographers would find these notebooks useless, but they are much easier to push into cracks in my bookcase.
Thomm Quackenbush is an author and teacher in the Hudson Valley. He has published four novels in his Night's Dream series (We Shadows, Danse Macabre, Artificial Gods, and Flies to Wanton Boys). He has sold jewelry in Victorian England, confused children as a mad scientist, filed away more books than anyone has ever read, and tried to inspire the learning disabled, gifted, and adjudicated. He can cross one eye, raise one eyebrow, and once accidentally groped a ghost. When not writing, he can be found biking, hiking the Adirondacks, grazing on snacks at art openings, and keeping a straight face when listening to people tell him they are in touch with 164 species of interstellar beings.
